Wednesday, January 14, 2009

If a Blog Posts in the Forrest...

(A rumination, in celebration of the illumination of a cyber-spacial birthday candle)

So, Bigmouth Strikes Again is officially a year old, and no one cares because nobody reads this thing. But before you (and by that, we mean our afore-mentioned fictional audience)  assign us a Kanye-complex, give us a nanosecond to explain our position on the matter:


We (or I, or your Narrator... what are you a private eye or something?) absolutely adore the fact that no one reads this blog. There is something quite satisfying in the idea of being a digital bullhorn barking at nothing more than a crowd of 0's and 1's. Because if a tree that falls unheard in the forrest makes no sound, then a blog that has no readership is perhaps not really even a blog. Which is fantastic.

It is in fact, a blog birthday wish come true, and we have no one to thank but the millions (okay, realistically probably hundreds... allow us a little hyperbole, it's our birthday!) of intrepid inter-webbers who simply don't show up here. 

Blogs are ubiquitous now, and everyone from neo-narcissists like Kanye West and Ryan Adams to super-serious-ists like Anderson Cooper feels the need to chime in or post about everything. In fact, most blogs now are just re-treads of posts from OTHER blogs, which are themselves re-writes from ACTUAL news outlets, most of whom have cribbed their stories from OTHER news outlets. It's re-diculous. Posting a picture of the new Nike Air Whatzit from Hypebeast and then adding the word, "Wow!!!!" or some txt variant with no vowels does not a great post make, people. Nor does adding all the same photos you have on your Facebook, Myspace (that still exists, right? Myspace?) or Flickr pages make you some kind of breakthrough presence on the web. Odds are you're not even a breakthrough presence in your own photos.

Which brings us back to Bigmouth (note the, ahem, no photo policy at work here). We are none of these things, and will continue our anti-existence here in our little rant-filled cyber-vacuum as long as we can hack it ( and we stress the hack part of that). So until next time, dear non-existent readers, stay frosty out there in cyberspace, and keep on keeping on ignoring us.

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