Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Jersey Boys Part 3: Return of the Man-Children

(The End Draws Near)

The existence of such fairweather fans, while not forgiveable, is understandable. Why watch a struggling sports franchise when you could be enjoying your next door neighbor's star-making appearance on "Cops"? What is utterly incomprehensible to me, however, is how a so-called adult could willingly rock the uniform of a team he is not a part of while watching a sport he doesn't play.

There are t-shirts, hats, sweatshirts, sweatpants and a myriad of other options that display your team's emblem, sir. These items politely showcase your affection while still conveying that whole "grown-up" vibe that everybody seems so keen on these days. Give it a shot. You might find yourself looking remotely employable as a result.

The addition of these jersey boys to any social setting is much akin to the addition of the Ewoks in "Return of the Jedi"; although they're intended to be endearing, they're actually just really, really annoying. Children love Ewoks. And jerseys. And that's ok, because they don't know any better. Imagine if one of your friends told you that they realized as they got older that "Jedi" was their favorite "Star Wars" installment because of the Ewoks. How would you view your friend after that kind of comment?

Anthony Kiedis wears a Lakers jersey to games. Jack Nicholson doesn't. Case closed, amigos.

3 comments:

hub of the house said...

yo jones! I have added you to my blog. I hope this is not too forward...a few of my pals have become real fans of your blog. you are all the hilarious rage!!!

hub of the house said...

your fans demand a new post!!

hub of the house said...

are you out of the country???