Monday, July 12, 2010

Our Cup Overfloweth

(A moritorium, ad mejorem, for the last month of fantastic footy)

It started, as most legends do, with a single email. It's title: Oh Zidane. It's contents: A simple YouTube link that summed up the glory that is soccer on the world stage, in all of it's ridiculous hyperbole and grand showboats-manship. What evolved, as you will see below, is one of the better email threads your narrator has been privileged to be a part of on a lazy Friday afternoon. And so it is today that we post this thread as a eulogy, now that the World Cup is done and buried until Brazil 2014. Thank you, South Africa. And may your vuvuzelas rest in peace.

From: Joe
RE: Oh Zidane

Zidane on the dribble, past one defender, then another! Oh, he's finding coins behind everybody's ears tonight! Service to Henri, bending true...and he taps it home! Oh Zidane! Pure magic! Doves are flooding from those velvet sleeves! Oh Zidane! He's got that rabbit by the ears, doesn't he! And he's holding it up for ze world to see! 

From: Brian
RE: RE: Oh Zidane

Zidane downfield, wildly optimistic challenge by ze defender, Zidane now with ze wand firmly in hand, and Oh! It's a bouquet for ze lady! So much magic in zose sleeves! 

From: Joe
RE:RE:RE: Oh Zidane

Defender has Zidane by the lapel there, doesn't he? But no! It's merely the magician's handkerchief! And look at that handkerchief, it keeps going and going, doesn't it folks?! Every color of the rainbow, and a few dazzling hues this world has never seen! 

From: Marty
RE:RE:RE:RE: Oh Zidane

You guys are hilarious... please keep this going...

From: Joe
RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: Oh Zidane

Fetch your opera glasses, ladies and gentlemen, Zidane is on the attack! The ageless sorcerer! Oh and he's done it again! He cut that beautiful lady clean in half, didn't he folks?! Oh look at her, smiling wide and wiggling those beautiful gams. She's gay and giddy at the foot of the master! 

From: Brian
RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: Oh Zidane

A cross pass to Zidane, wizard sleeves and hat gesticulating wildly as he composes a symphony of dancing brooms! Oh he is apprentice to no one on this fateful drive downfield! Fantasia indeed! He has tamed the fire breathing dragon!

From: Joe

Zidane dribbles right into the defender's goatee, as only he can. He fans the deck, eyebrows this your card OH YES it is! Another defender left stupefied in this old wizard's wake! 

From: Brian

Zidane, resplendent astride his white steed, charges headlong into Helms Deep. White robes billowing, he raises his staff, and vanquishes an entire line of Orc defenders! Not even the eye of Sauron himself can stop the magic flowing through the limbs of this white wizard! Listen to those hobbitts, joyously celebrating as they blow their vuvezelas!

From: Brad

Funniest chain of emails ever.  I have laughed out loud for the past 10 minutes reading these, starting to get strange looks.  I should probably just leave the office.